On Becoming a Homemaker
Published on March 25, 2014
I have a lot of dreams. I want to go to Europe. I want to go back to Minnesota with my husband. I want to write my own book. And the long list goes on. But my ultimate dream is to become a homemaker.
Image taken from here
Yes! Housewife, homemaker, SAHM, WAHM, whatever you want to call it. I want to become one. That’s actually why I am working my ass off. I am slaving myself in the corporate world in preparation for the realization of this lifelong dream. Don’t get me wrong because although there are a lot of stressful days that I have to battle, I enjoy being a software developer. I still enjoy the fulfillment it gives me when my code works. But deep in my heart, I know that I was brought up and trained to take care of my family. I am not saying that working wives and mothers suck at taking care of their family. It’s just that I believe that every person has a calling, and I know that this is mine. Some are called to become working moms, I know I am not.
I think one factor why I want to become a homemaker is because my mother is a semi-housewife. Both my parents are meat vendors. They go to work before sunrise, and their work ends before lunch time. That’s why both my parents were very visible while I was growing up.
When I tell someone that I want to stop working in the future, I get a lot of awful responses. Here are just few of them.
“You are too smart to stay at home!”
I mean yeah, that’s flattering. But why am I too smart to stay at home? Does it mean that housewives and/or stay-at-home moms are stupid?! Kids need smart homemakers to help them with their home works. Husbands needs smart homemakers who know how to do the monthly household budgeting. So why am I too smart to become a homemaker?
“Sayang ang pinag-aralan mo.”
Again, why? I spent 5 years in college for an Engineering course. They now teach Algebra to kids in elementary. Because I went through a strenuous training in Mathematics, I can teach my kids the Pythagorean theorem even before they start walking. That only proves that everything I learned in school will not be put to waste.
“Magiging housewife ka LANG?!”
This is simply absurd! Sadly, there are people who believe that working wives/moms are superior over the plain housewives. We live in a society where people think that it’s so easy being a homemaker. You take care of your kids. You do household chores. You need all the creative juices in your brain to keep your babies from getting bored. You cook dinner for a husband who goes home stressed out from working. You end up being a wife, mother, yaya, teacher, chef, stress reliever, referee, clown and all the other unimaginable roles in life. Ano nga uli ‘yung HOUSEWIFE LANG?!
“Sayang naman ang sweldo mo!”
There is some truth to this. My salary plays a great part in our family’s income. So when I decide to stop working, most of the burden will go to my husband’s shoulders. But then again, I want to hear my kids’ first words. I want to see them walk for the first time. I want my husband to go home to a hearty dinner. I actually made this post to serve as a reminder slash checklist of the things that I need to accomplish to address this aspect. So what are the things that I need to do before I can become a fulfilled homemaker?
1. Have our own house.
How can I become a housewife if we don’t have a house?! Hahaha! But kidding aside, a married friend once told me that the first thing I should invest on is a house. According to her, “Kapag nakabili ka na ng bahay, madali na lang lahat.” That is what my husband and I did. We bought a humble three-storey townhouse unit near my parents’ house, and it will soon be turned over to us! Although we still need to pay for the amortization, it will be lighter compared to the monthly down payment that we have been paying for almost two years. :)
2. Make babies.
It’s not like we are not making babies. You have no idea how often we… ok, I should stop there. :p But some things are just more difficult for other couples. Unfortunately, we are unlike other couples who could say, “I just sneezed and then we got pregnant!” But when we are finally blessed with Little Kolokoys, me being a homemaker must become a priority. Although my husband and I are thinking that I maybe need to become a housewife first because my stressful work is probably not helping us in conceiving. Nyaha! :p
3. Become a diva in the kitchen.
I know how to cook and bake. My husband loves it when I cook for him, whether it’s as simple as fried hotdogs or as complicated as kare-kare. A couple of nights ago before going to sleep, I just blurted out to my husband what our dinner would probably be like when I become a homemaker. Carrot soup, pan-fried tilapia with mango salsa, and we’ll have blueberry cheesecake for desserts. He loved the idea! =)) I told him that I picked those up from watching Rachael Ray and Ina Garten on the Food Network all day. But I believe that I need more practice. I can’t really cook that much because we still live in our parents’ house. Kitchen only belongs to Mama Kolokoy unless she’s lazy and asks me to cook for her. But when we move in to our own house, I’ll make sure that I’ll turn into a Giada De Laurentiis, hopefully with cleavage and all! :p
4. SAVE! SAVE! SAVE!
I read an article which says that everybody must save at least 3 months worth of their salaries. I’m actually really good with saving. But our medical bills and the miscellaneous expenses for our house are spiking up. Our savings are slowly depleting so I need to have more money! Hahaha! At the end of the day, I need to have a fall back because having a single major source of income is quite risky.
5. Have an alternative source of income.
When I decide to quit, my husband will be the breadwinner. Although he would save money because he need not to pay for a maid (because I’ll be in the house 24/7), I am pretty sure that it will still be difficult for him. He fully supports my plan of becoming a homemaker. As a matter of fact, I am just so grateful that he encourages me to do it when I feel like I’m ready. But when that time comes, I still want to have my own money. I don’t want to burden him when I run out of sanitary napkin or when I feel like I want to buy a new pair of shoes. As of now, I’m having difficulty in this aspect. I was initially planning to turn this blog into something income-generating, but it’s not happening. Hahaha! I just blog because I love doing it and it keeps me sane. I am just not sure if I will make money out of this passion. Nyahahaha! I can’t just sit and wait (while writing) for this blog to turn into a gold-digging machine. I need to think of other ways. =)
6. Increase our investments.
We already talked to some people who could help us out. I have friends who have experience with the stock market. We are continuously researching for other forms of investments. We just need some proper funding. Remember what we said on our first TV stint? We will use a part of whatever we save on the 52-week challenge to invest in the stock market. =)
7. Get insurance.
Aside from my monthly salary, all the other benefits that go with my job will be gone if I decide to quit. That includes my health and life insurance. I need to get both along with house insurance. So just in case anything happens to me or my husband, our family will still be in good hands. I know it sounds morbid, but these things really do happen in real life!
I never imagined how hard I need to prepare for this. :p Are you a full time homemaker? How did you prepare for it? =)