Kolokoy Household: The Pilot Episode

Published on November 21, 2012

I mentioned in a previous post that I’ll be posting something so that my readers can get to know me, more than the blogger behind the keyboard. This is it!

I grew up in a very crazy household. And when I got married, it’s safe to say that it became a little crazier since I chose to spend the rest of my life with an equally crazy person. This is my attempt to document the wacky moments we share as a family. Years from now, we can probably read this blog and laugh together along with our kids and grandkids.

A few weeks ago, I told my husband about my plan. I asked for his permission because I don’t want him to feel that I’m sharing too much with my readers. Surprisingly, he was more excited with the idea. He said, “Naku wala pa akong Twitter, trending na ako sa mga funny jokes ko!” Assumero naman ang lolo mo na lahat ng jokes nya ay funny! When I got his go signal, I asked him to help me come up with a title of the “series”.

Boyet Tries To JokePara daw match sa Je Tries To Cook.
Sitdown Comedy – Opposite of Standup Comedy. And just because I’m sitting down when I’m writing a blog post!

Apparently, I asked the wrong person. HAHAHA! When I finally thought of a title, I then asked my best friend Aubrey.

Me: Tingin mo catchy ‘yung KOLOKOY HOUSEHOLD.
Aubrey: Ok yan ‘tol! Huwag ka ng masyadong mag-abala. Kahit anong title nyan, gagayahin ka pa rin naman nya. :p (Hindi ko sasabihin sa inyo kung sino SIYA! :p)
Me: HIHIHIHI!!!

Ok, too much of my introduction and back stories. Presenting… KOLOKOY HOUSEHOLD: Episode 1! MWAHAHAHA!!!

PATAY?!

This happened months ago while we were both watching a teleserye. The lead actress was carrying an urn which apparently contains the ashes of her father.

Me: Ay, patay na tatay nya?
Hubby: Ay hindi, buhay pa! Pinilit lang siyang ipasok sa loob ng banga!
Me: Maghiwalay na nga tayo!


MATUTINA

This one happened a few days after Dolphy passed away.

Mama: Hoy! ‘Yung mga damit nyo dito, iligpit nyo nga. *ratatatatatatatat*  
Papa: Ang tinis ng boses ng Mama mo!  
Me: Talo nga si Matutina e. Kung na-discover lang 'to dati pwede pang John en Marsha...  
Papa: Sigurado, mayaman na tayo! O kung hindi man, matagal ng namatay si Dolphy sa boses ng nanay mo!


PIKON

Papa: ‘Nak, sabi ko dun sa suki namin, sa 3 tao lang napipikon ‘tong nanay mo e. Sa akin, sa’yo at sa kapatid mo.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Mama: O, sinimulan nyo na naman ako ha.


S&R

Joie: Balita ko dito daw sa The Fort nag S&R si Richard Gomez ha.
Me: Ah talaga?
Hubby: Si Coco Martin din daw nandito ngayon. YAMEEEEE!!!
Joie: Hay naku, Boyet!!!!


S&R ULI

Hubby: Baby!!!
Me: Bakit?
Hubby: Halika dito! Dalian mo!!!
Me: Ano ‘yun?
Hubby: Tingin ka sa kaliwa. Pasimple ka lang ha. Si Kempee de Leon o!
Me: Anak ng tokwa ka! Kung makatawag ka akala ko nakakita ka ng bangkay sa loob ng chest freezer e!


SI GIRIPIT AT SI GIRIPAT

We were watching Be Careful With My Heart when we heard the old Si Giripit at si Giripat joke from one of the characters.

Me: Hindi ko na-gets ‘yung joke.
Boyet: Naglalakad sa bangin si Giripit at si Giripat. Nalaglag sa bangin si Giripat, sino ang natira?
Me: Si Giripit.
Boyet: Naglalakad sa bangin si Giripit at si Giripat. Nalaglag sa bangin si Giripat, sino ang natira?
Me: Si Giripit.
Boyet: Naglalakad sa bangin si Giripit at si Giripat. Nalaglag sa bangin si Giripat, sino ang natira?
Me: Si Giripit nga!!! Nasa’n ang joke dun?
Boyet: Naglalakad sa bangin si Giripit at si Giripat. Nalaglag sa bangin si Giripat, sino ang natira?
Me: Bahala ka nga sa buhay mo!

The following day…

Me: Uy, ano na ‘yung joke kagabi?
Boyet: Naglalakad sa bangin si Giripit at si Giripat. Nalaglag sa bangin si Giripat, sino ang natira?
Me: Si Giripit.
Boyet: Naglalakad sa bangin si Giripit at si Giripat. Nalaglag sa bangin si Giripat, sino ang natira?
Me: Si Giripit.
Boyet: Naglalakad sa bangin si Giripit at si Giripat. Nalaglag sa bangin si Giripat, sino ang natira?
Me (with 5 seconds delay): AH!!!! SIGE REPEAT!!! Lintek na joke ‘yan!
Boyet: Salamat po, Lord at nakuha rin sa wakas ng asawa ko!
Me: Masahol pa sa Pentium 1 ang utak ko! @_@


MONTHSARY

I was teasing my brother that he was hiding something which I guessed was a “monthsary” gift.

Me: Si Abes o, first monthsary may gift. Bakit ikaw dati hindi ka nagbibigay ng gift?
Hubby: Oy! ‘Wag makapal ang mukha mo. Binigyan kita ng Chips Ahoy nung first monthsary natin. Magkano Chips Ahoy nung mga panahon na ‘yun?
Me: Hindi ako sure. 100 lang siguro.
Hubby: Biruin mo ‘yun?! E singkwenta lang ang baon ko dati!!!

--- THE END ---
 

Tingin nyo, magkakaron pa kaya ng episode 2? Or do you think it’s better to have this series shelved? Baka ikasira ng pangarap kong maging writer e. :p

P.S. Of all the days, I chose today to launch this new “series” because it is my hubby’s birthday!!!

Efren Jerellt Wedding-0385
Happy birthday, Baby!!! Cheers to more years of laughter. :)

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6 comments

  1. more... Episode please... :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! Baka kasi eto ang ikabagsak ng blog ko e. :p

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  2. bwahaha.. love it! gandang magbasa neto tuwing umaga.. pede request.. wag ka magmintis pag lunes para nakangiti naman ako pagpasok ko!! winner talaga si papa B! Happy Birthday sa kanya!!:D

    ReplyDelete
  3. Talaga palang may tama sa ulo si Boyet... chos! Joke lang, birthday boy! Baka ipagulpi mo ko sa asawa mo... Wahahaha!

    Happy birthday, baby este Boyet pala! Nyahahaha! :P

    P.S Kilala ko kung sino ung copy-cut mo.... Wahahaahaha! :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. May tama talaga yun :p Sino copycat ko?! Buti ka pa kilala mo. >:)

      Delete