A Letter To Future Me

Published on October 16, 2012

Dear Je,

At this time, you’ve already been numbed by people who kept on asking you why you still don’t have a baby. You’ve already learned to stop feeling bad when people insist that you should work on it soon. You’ve already learned to put a smile on your face when people wish you good luck. You’ve finally given up explaining to everybody that the absence of a baby on the first year of your marriage is planned, a conscious effort between you and your husband. And you finally realized that some people will never understand that you don’t want to be a part of a stupid race that this society came up with.

You and your loving husband decided that you needed more time to recover from the financial stress you’ve both been through when you opted to shoulder 100% of your wedding expenses. Both of you decided that you still need to work harder to give your future kids a comfortable life. Both of you decided that you’ll never be good parents unless you’ve already ironed out most of your differences, which is hard to do when there’s already a child in between. Both of you decided that you still need to see the world, which will later on become the least of your priorities when you have a child. And finally, both of you have realized that something as big as this is beyond your control. At the end of the day, it will still be according to God’s prolific plans for you and your husband.

You made this letter because you want something to look back to. This letter will remind you that you’ve been through a lot, but you never doubted God’s will for you. This letter will take you back to the times when you were still vulnerable. And hopefully, when you read this again in the future, you’ll be stronger. This letter will remind you that when you wrote this years ago, you were prepared to take whatever God would give you.

Just in case you decide to read this when you already have little angels running around your own home, I want you to remember the following:

  1. Be your kids’ first teacher. Teach them how to count, how to read, how to pray, how to value whatever they have, how to seize life. Teach them everything you know. Don’t stop learning so you’ll have more things to teach them.
  2. Try your best not to raise brats and bullies. Don’t let your kids feel that they can get whatever they want, and that they can get away with anything. Don’t let your kids feel that they are always above the rest. Teach them to get along with people, even the difficult ones.
  3. Teach your kids that nobody has the right to bully them. Teach them the value of self-respect, and that will reflect with how other people will treat them.
  4. Although it is important to have smart kids, aspire to have happy kids instead. When they arrive from school, ask first if they did enjoy school before asking them how many “stars” they got for the day. Ask them if they made new friends, or if they had fun. If they end up liking the arts, let them be. Don’t tell them that they can’t make money out of it. As long as they’re happy, you should be too.
  5. Teach your kids to be independent. Though you should let them feel that they’ll always have your support, tell them that sooner or later, they’ll be on their own. Train them to be creative and resourceful. Make them realize that thinking out of the box isn’t enough. They should think as if there is no box.
  6. Make them feel that though family should come first, they have the right to correct if they believe that a family member is wrong. Make them feel loved, but correct them if they did something wrong.
  7. Always pray for your kids. Pray that they end up with a career that they truly love. Pray that each of them will end up with a life partner with a good heart. Pray that they’ll be well-equipped to face life’s challenges.
  8. Try your best to build a good family, something that your kids will be proud of. Spend time with your kids. Play with them. Make them feel that their secrets are safe with you. Give them the kind of relationship which will help them when it’s time for them to build their own families.
Years from now, this list will probably not enough. But I’m sure that with the help of your husband, you’ll get through everything with flying colors. With the support of your family, you’ll realize that being a parent is more than a task. It’s a conviction. It’s a calling. It’s a gift entrusted by God to those who really deserve it.

But for now, chill! You’ve long refused to be a part of that race. You set your own standards, and you follow your own pace. You’re on the right track. And most importantly, you make your own happiness. It’s something that should not be dictated by any norms.


Love,
Je from years ago

stock-vector-happy-family-walks-on-nature-sunset-11774197Image taken from shutterstock.com

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10 comments

  1. ganda je.. :) lalo na yung mga commandments mo para kay future Jerellt.. :)

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    1. Haha! Sana mapanindigan ko 'to years from now. :)

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  2. Yup Je, you're on the right track! Just don't mind other people, they will never ever understand even if you explain anyway. Just know that God knows what's best for you and Boyet. I'm sure He's working on something even more than what you both deserve. :)

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  3. Very Well said, me I also refuse to be part of the race since some people are insisting na dapat sundan na yung anak ko kase nag-iisa cya... May plan si God for us as you have said.... Maybe in God perfect time it will come...

    Also, just to share siguro one thing I have to say having a child is to show him/her how much you and your husband love each other by that your son/daughter will see how much LOVE should be important in having and being a close family... For me it works I have a sweet little boy!!! hehehe...

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    1. Sila sila lang kasama sa race e. Parang laging may Milo marathon :))

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  4. You have a great loving God. At alam Nya ang dapat at ang tamang panahon. You are doing everything for that family you are building and you are doing a great job! :) Di bale, pag naging nanay ka na magiging Ninang ako. Ako ng bahala sa kakikayan ng mga kids mo. Ikaw na bahala sa disiplina. Hahahaha.. Love yow! Mwah!

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    1. At paano kapag lalaki lahat ng anak ko??? :p

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  5. Don't mind them, Je. Darating din sa inio ni Boyet yan in God's perfect time. Just bear on your mind that He always has a better plan for all of us. Think positive wag kang aayaw! Aja! :)

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    Replies
    1. Wapakels naman ako sa kanila. Wag silang marunong pa sa matres ko :))

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