A Breeze of Good Deeds #30: Old, Wrinkled and Married

Published on July 14, 2012

Last Sunday, our family went to my parents’ favorite Chinese restaurant. While waiting for our food to arrive, my husband discreetly nudged me and asked me to look at the next table. Seated beside us are an old Chinese couple. Both have wrinkled skin and the weariness brought by aging is very evident. Boyet whispered to me, “Ang cute nila ‘no? Nagde-date pa rin sila hanggang ngayon.” I nodded because he mouthed what I was just about to say. Without appearing intrusive, I observed the old couple as they were checking out the menu handed to them by the server. And then, I saw the husband take some napkin and wiped both their utensils, the same thing Boyet and I do for each other.

old Photo taken from vectorimages.org

So why am I sharing a story that may seem trivial or nonsense to some people? It’s because I am married now. Years ago, I was just dreaming and imagining how married life would be. But now, I am living the life that I know I’m called for, and that is to be a wife to a loving husband. Years ago, friends used to tell each other that marriage is the dead end of one’s life. Game over. Happy days will be out of the window. Marriage turns sophisticated women into nagging wives who end up drooling over expensive bags and shoes because what used to be their budget for shopping is now allocated for the kid’s diapers or educational plan. And when men start to wear their wedding bands, they either become a womanizer or transform into an unfair husband who can’t even make coffee on his own. Being married, which also means being closer to other married couples made me realize that these things do happen.

Fortunately, I wasn’t sophisticated and I never had the inclination to have so many bags and shoes. And even before we got married, I trained Boyet with all the household chores. Days ago, he shared one conversation he had with his boss. The boss asked him how’s married life. Boyet said that he learned a lot of things. When asked what he has learned, he said, “I learned how to wash the dishes, wash the clothes and clean the house. But the most important thing I’ve learned is to be able to do all the chores at the same time.” Hahaha!!!

old2 Photo taken from vectorimages.org

After one year of being married, I have also learned some bitter truths about marriage, things I never imagined that are happening in real life. I used to think that married couples separating, wife-beating and adultery only happen in the movies, and that annulment are exclusive for movie stars. But yes, these things happen. And as hearing these things made me sad when I was still single, now these kinds of story break my heart. I can’t help but wonder why some marriages end up that way. And I can’t imagine going through the same pain. The closer you are to these kinds of situation, the more you realize that these are REAL people, not some cast of a primetime telenovela. But the closer I get to these awful things, the more I value my relationship with my husband, the more I trust the power and control of God over our marriage.

The old couple is a reminder that being married is not always synonymous to hell. I bet they’ve been to rough roads. But the fact that they still show the same love and affection despite their age is truly inspiring. And so I claim that in our marriage, the things happening in the movies will remain in the movies. I claim that annulment is way too expensive for non-movie stars like us. I claim that I will continuously teach my husband new tricks on doing household chores more efficiently. And I claim that at 80, we’ll still go out on dates, wipe each other’s utensils, and remove the cynicism of all the younger married couples watching us eat our dumplings. :)

old3 Photo taken from vectorimages.org

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1 comments

  1. Very well said, Je! I also agree that annulment is way too expensive for non-movie stars like us though I grew up in a broken family. And growing up in a broken family made me realize how important is my family to me. God is the only key to a successful marriage. ^_^

    Stay in love.. always and forever! ^_*

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