A Breeze of Good Deeds # 3: The Fourth Commandment

Published on March 31, 2009

Much has been said about how we should treat our parents. God even made it to the Ten Commandments. While I was in grade school starting to learn about the basics of religion, the curious child in me wondered why God didn’t bother to include “Love your children” as the eleventh commandment. Years later, equipped with more experiences with my parents, I learned the answer to my question.

It is innate for parents to take care, nurture and love their offspring. But kids tend to forget how much their parents have sacrificed for them. If a father hurts his son, the son would run away carrying a baggage full of grudge to his father. But when a son hurts his father by running away because he wants to live his life by himself, a father would be waiting by the doorsteps so he could hug his son upon his return. If a mother scolds her daughter, the daughter would yell back and silently curse why she was even given such an inconsiderate mother. But when a daughter goes home crying because of her own stupid mistakes, a mother’s arm is the daughter’s only refuge.

I am definitely not a perfect daughter. I walk out when my father gets into my nerves because his soberness escapes his body. I answer back when my mother starts yelling the same things over and over again. But I am a good daughter. Because after a fight or an argument, I feel guilty.

I am ashamed of how impatient I have been with my mother when she in fact patiently taught me everything as she was my first teacher. There were times when she would help me with my homework while cleaning the house and cooking dinner all at the same time. She was never absent in any PTA meetings, even though she does not socialize with other parents because she claims that she does not need to make “sipsip” with the teachers because she already has an intelligent daughter. She goes through the hell of Divisoria, Baclaran and Quiapo when I need something for a school project.

I am disgusted as to how I treat my father during an argument. But people tell me that I squabble just like my father! I hate losing in an argument, and so does my father. So when I side to my dad if he has a dispute with my mom, the argument is finished. But when it’s the other way around, I end up arguing with my him. But on second thought, part of how strong-willed yet soft-hearted I am is because of him. My fascination with having fun, reading and social awakening are all influences of my father. So the next time my dad pisses me off, I’d think twice before fighting back.

The next time your parents infuriate you, think of the things that they did for you.

1. My mom tirelessly cooks for our family. She cooks good food that even my classmates never forgot her.

2. My dad brings my lunch and my things for my afternoon class since I was in fifth grade until I finished high school. He did the same with my younger brother.

3. My mom is my number one critic. She says that I dress like an old maid and that I should put some blush on once in a while.

4. Until now, my mom shows affection by buying me things even if I can already afford them. And she sulks if I don’t use them.

5. My dad can talk anything on the dining table. He talks about religion, politics, environment and even green jokes over dinners. He lectures about love, life, marriage and even pre-marital sex which makes me and brother cringe of embarrassment.

6. My dad never dictates how I should decide. He gives advice when I seek for it. But the last say in terms of running my life is still up to me.

7. My mom brags about me a lot. My mom is not naturally boastful. She only does this if she bumps into someone who talks big. But there are times that she brags in silence. She says it is more effective. When I was in high school, a parent was bragging that her daughter is getting a second-honor medal. The whole Paco Market heard the woman say this. My mom kept mum about it. The next day, my dad’s friend came rushing and asked my mom if what he heard was true. My mom told me that the woman’s jaw dropped to the ground. Because she just found out that I was the class valedictorian. My point is, no matter how she demonstrates it, she is still proud of me.

8. My dad taught me that if you want to become big, you have to start small. If you don’t become big, be happy that you have something small rather than nothing at all. He taught me that it’s nice to be rich but don’t be miserable if you’re not.

9. Each time I don’t feel like going to work just because I am lazy enough not to, I think of how many times my parents felt the same but still chose to go to work because they have our tuition fee to pay.

10. My parents love whoever and whatever I choose to love. Well, I never felt this when I was younger. I always thought that nobody will be good enough for them. They said hurtful things upfront. But as I grow older, I learned to laugh those things off as I realize that they are right. They love my friends, though my mom tends to forget their names. They love the one my heart beats to love. And they make him as a part of our family.

11. They listen to me. After a stressful day at work, they listen to my every whine. They get angry when they feel that I have been taken advantage of. They hear out every joke, every new learning, and every stupid word that comes out of my mouth. And they never get tired of listening.

There are two things that melt my heart. One is seeing young children on the streets and the other is seeing old people with no one to take care of them. I hate children who dump their parents the same way I hate parents who abandon their kids. I always pray to God to give me enough strength (and resources) to take care of my parents when they get old. Sooner or later, I will also become a parent. And they say that your kids will treat you the same way you have treated your parents. I think it’s not yet too late to stop being a brat so I don’t end up raising my own little monster. :p

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2 comments

  1. this one is so good, it made me miss my old days with my parents...

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  2. this post is good...it made me miss my old days with my mama and papa... keep it up girl

    - Jane

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