It was just a dream, a very bad one...

Published on January 19, 2009


I had a dream last night. And until now, I am convincing myself that I am awake and that it was just a very bad dream. I always dream of running or being chased by somebody. I dreamt one time wherein policemen were chasing me. But last night’s dream was different. Well, it felt different to me.

The dream started when I heard someone knocking on my door. I saw an old lady and immediately told me, “Talk to him. He’s ruining his life”. The lady’s face turned sour when she saw that I was with another guy. The guy told the old lady to leave us alone. I couldn’t put a face both to the guy and the old lady but yes, they were speaking in English. It was so surreal, right? Anyways, I told the lady these words. “He was the first one to leave me”. And then an argument sparked between the lady and the guy I was with.

The next scene was a Korean actress cooking in a very beatuful kitchen. And then Boyet came into the picture. I was a little relieved to finally see a familiar face but the relief was cut short when I heard him tell the lady, “Huwag kang masyadong magpapagod, makakasama sa baby natin yan.”

And then he saw me.

I started running.

I started crying.

He chased after me.

I kept running.

I ran until I reached Robinson’s Place Ermita (it was a long run ehhh?). And I never stopped running. I woke up so tired, so numb, and almost in tears. What the heck was that all about? The emotions were so real. I could feel the pain seeing him with another girl. I felt the betrayal. I felt the longing. I felt all the worst emotions I could possibly feel. And those mixed feelings made me grumpy the whole day. I was so vulnerable if I may say. I told him what I dreamt about but he said that it’s not going to happen. Being cheated is every woman’s nightmare. At least for those women who remain faithful! But I know how dreams work. What we dream is not exactly what is going to happen. I know that it is my subconscious self trying to convey a message to me.

I googled the dream dictionary and here’s what I found out. This is from http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/.

Running

To dream that you are running away from someone, indicates an issue that you are trying to avoid. You are not taking or accepting responsibility for your actions. In particular, if you are running from an attacker or any danger, then it suggests that you are not facing and confronting your fears.

To dream that you are trying to run but cannot make your feet move as fast as you want them to, signifies lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. It may also reflect your actual state of REM paralysis while in the dream state.

To dream that you are running alone, signifies that you will advance to a higher position and surpass your friends in the race for wealth. Alternatively, you may be running from some situation or from temptation. Or it may also mean that you need to hurry up in making a decision.

To dream that you are running with others, signifies festive and prosperous times.


Am I running away from something? Do I need to make an urgent decision? Arggghhh! I hate this! I so hate this. Because I think that this freaking dream is telling me something. And I think I know what it is. But still, I refuse to entertain the thought. I kept on telling myself that there is a perfect time to resolve those things. I tried to face it a long time ago, but I failed. And now, it still haunts me. :(

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