My 2017 in Two Words

My 2017 just passed by like a breeze. I felt a sense of panic when October arrived and I was still empty-handed for my daughter’s birthday party. Didn’t she just turn one year old yesterday? Why is she suddenly turning two? As if naman hindi two ang kasunod ng one?! I was supposed to let go of posting some sort of a blog year-ender because I was thinking that my 2017 was very monotonous. But then I changed my mind because years from now, I want to remind myself how I managed to survive such a crazy year!

My 2017 might be uneventful, but it might not be the perfect word to describe it. Days before Christmas, I asked my husband how he would describe our 2017 in two contrasting words. My husband’s vocabulary is not very impressive so he gave me a lot of nonsense answers. HAHA! But on New Year’s Eve, while Zayne refused to wake up amidst the noise and while my husband and I were both busy munching on some Lay’s with our eyes hooked to Doctor Strange being aired on cable TV, I finally found the words I was looking for. My year was OVERWHELMING but REWARDING.

If you remember during the middle of last year, I wrote a personal post about how I was struggling with being a working mother. Well, what I was feeling that time was just an appetizer in a buffet of bigger responsibilities that I had to face! I have been working on a very big project at work. I handle people, and my team of 6 doubled towards the end of the year! There are really days when I tell myself that I would rather code programs than deal with people. (Hahaha, sorry team! :p) Our deadlines became even tighter forcing me to work on weekends and even holidays. I have to believe that I was doing my job well, but a part of me always has to deal with the guilt of spending less and less time with my baby daughter. I wasn’t really prepared for that kind of responsibility. It was OVERWHELMING!

During the last quarter of the year, I was running like a headless chicken! I was meeting deadlines, preparing for big audits, interviewing candidates and expressing milk in the office! There was this one time when I had no other choice but to go to work despite being sick and leaving my sick daughter at home. But then, I wouldn’t trade those days. Looking back, I have to say that it was so REWARDING! Alam mo ‘yung feeling na tinatanong ko ang sarili ko na, “Pucha, Je, paano mo nagawa ‘yun?!” I am surrounded with talented people at work. Masakit sila sa ulo minsan, pero talented silang tunay. HAHAHAHA! (Hi, guys! :p)

My husband and I had been struggling on a lot of things. For one, he also became busier last year. Adulting took the shit out of both of us. We go to work, try to make ends meet, brave traffic every single day and still strive to be the best parents for our daughter. Potek, ‘yung traffic pa lang, nakakabawas na ng katinuan! We had been OVERWHELMED by a lot of things – work, difficult people and managing our finances among many others. But it’s just simply REWARDING to look back and appreciate the fact that we are each other’s best friend. I don’t think life could have given me a better partner in life than my husband!

We should have posed with the peace sign to match the title of this blog post! :p

Zayne cannot be stopped on the “growing up” thingy. She’s asking too many questions, and she is starting to have a mind of her own. Being a working mother for two years, I still get OVERWHELMED with the amount of responsibilities resting on my shoulders - the biggest of which is making sure that I raise a kind-hearted individual in Zayne. There are several occasions when I feel like I am failing big time as a mother. I strive to give my undivided attention to my baby, but there are times when I do fail. But despite of my shortcomings as a mother, it’s truly REWARDING to see my baby girl growing up like the kind of person that I’ve prayed her to be – and so much more! Although I’m so tempted to take all the credits, it wouldn’t be fair because a big part of why I’m succeeding at motherhood is because of the amazing support group who has been helping me and Boyet raise a fine young lady.

I’m not sure what this year has in store for me and my family. Part of me is very excited to know the big possibilities that God is about to unravel in 2018, but I’m also a bit anxious because I’m pretty sure that this year is absolutely going to be busier! That being said, I do hope I’ll get to squeeze more of my time to update this blog! I do owe you, my dear readers, big time because of my absence. But despite of my on and off hiatus, my heart is always full to see most of you still get excited each time I post a new content! Thank you for being a part of my crazy 2017, and I look forward to spending an even crazier 2018 with all of you! :)

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