A couple of days ago, I posted this wedding photo on my Facebook page.
Photo courtesy of Ian Santillan Photography
“Just because we’re 3 days away from celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary… You may not give me flowers all the time (because after the joy of receiving something as beautiful as a bouquet of flowers, my face turns into something like this when I smell them) but the joy you bring me every single day is something that every wife wishes for. Some husbands shower their wives with material things; you shower me with love, patience and everyday assurance that I am beautiful inside and out. With all of these, who needs flowers?”
I know that I am a little bit mushy. But for someone who had been through a lot, having a blissful married life is something that I am really proud of. Our first year was a lot of fun. We traveled a lot. But it was definitely a rollercoaster ride. Even if we had known each other for almost a decade before getting married, we still learned a lot of things about each other for the first time. Our second year was more settled. We traveled less. We became more responsible with our finances. We started paying for our first house. (Because I’m claiming that God will make way for our dream house in the future!) The fights have been lessened. And more importantly, our relationship with God became stronger.
A friend once told me that she admires our marriage. Another one told me that our marriage is IDEAL. It’s flattering that people look at us that way, but we feel unworthy of it. I know a lot of married couples who have gone a longer way than Boyet and I. Acknowledging our individual differences and managing our finances are just two of the hardest things that we had to battle for the past two years. Our marriage is far from being ideal. So last night, I had to think of why people sort of “look up” to our marriage. I thought of quite a few reasons.
First, maybe because even if I am keeping up a blog, I don’t divulge everything. It’s very easy to just post a rant or tweet about a conflict, but it takes a great deal of courage and wisdom to keep some things private. We don’t wash our dirty laundry in public. It doesn’t mean that we’re only letting the whole world see the good side of our marriage. It just means that we respect each other and not let other people meddle with our domestic problems. It just means that we trust each other so much that we could fix all our problems between the two us.
Second, my husband is different. As a matter of fact, I think he’s part of the endangered species. He is not the typical macho figure. He helps me with the household chores. He acknowledges the restrictions and boundaries of being a married man. He admits his weaknesses and allows me to help him work out on them. And, he takes good care of me which makes me think that God is giving me a glimpse of how he will be as a father.
Third, because we both watch our words especially when we’re talking to our married (or in a relationship) friends. We are very careful in giving out advices. We try so hard not to compare our marriage (or relationship) with theirs. We don’t take sides, and we don’t judge them.
Lastly, I let him be the man of the house. This, for me was the most difficult part of being a wife. I am an overachiever. I want to get things done my way right away. If I didn’t do it, it’s not good enough. But these had to change when I got married. In this day and age when both husbands and wives are working, it’s very easy for wives to fall into the trap of taking away the role of being the man of the house from their husbands (especially when the wife is earning more). I struggled at this at first. But, I learned to do this with ease with the help of my husband and my parents. The good thing about my husband is that he ALWAYS asks for my opinion. I ALWAYS have a say on everything. And, he ALWAYS listens to me. But when I need to submit to him, I do.
Let me end this post by sharing with you my Facebook shoutout today. I reposted our wedding onsite video courtesy of Ian Santillan.
“I watch this when I am extremely happy for it makes me more grateful with how God has masterfully written our love story and how He has shaped our relationship over the years. I watch this when I’m feeling down to remind me how my life has become more blissful because of you. I watch this when I’m so mad at you, including those times when I felt that I married a jerk, as this takes me back to that special day when I was at my happiest (and prettiest :p). When I feel like I am about to sway away from the vows I made to you, this makes me realize that I am better than I thought, because I did not just say I DO, I continue to stand by these two words.
Now for better or for worse are so much more than only words
And I pray everyday will be the proof
That I mean what I say when I say 'I do'
Happy 2nd Anniversary, Boyet ♥
P.S. To everybody who gets to read this, pardon the cheesiness and mushiness. :p”
Happy anniversary!!! Kina Tita din!! Makapagpakasal nga ng July 20! Para sakalin ako ni Mila! hahahaha!! :)
ReplyDeleteHappy anniv!
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