Kolokoy Household: Episode 5

Published on March 18, 2013

I’m really having a hard time maintaining this blog because a lot of my readers are SOOOO demanding!

Dapat every Monday ang Kolokoy Household!
Bakit walang Kolokoy Household this week?!
Dapat damihan mo ‘yung Kolokoy Household.

TEKA! TEKA! TEKA! Anong akala ninyo sa pamilya ko, cast ng sitcom?! HAHAHA!!! But on second thought, it only means that people actually appreciate and enjoy my posts. So, thank you! But you also have to understand that we are humans. We experience bad days too. At hindi alam ng nanay ko na sikat siya sa blog ko! :p

Because I can easily be coerced, here’s episode 5!

fun-5 Image taken from phemyodu.wordpress.com


PERSONALAN – PART 1

I was really sad when I heard about the UP Manila freshman who committed suicide. It pisses me off because I don’t pay my taxes so that smart kids can kill themselves just because they can’t pay for their tuition fees. It’s just so unfair that while smart kids are trying so hard to get out of poverty, the politicians’ kids are driving Porsche and hanging out in bars making it known to everybody that they can afford everything. Anyway, I started having a debate with Boyet while we were in the car.

Boyet: Naiintindihan naman kita.
Me: Pero mali e. Nakakagigil! Nasa UP siya kasi matalino siya. She deserved better.
Boyet: Alam ko naman yun.
Me: Sana lumapit na lang siya sa akin. Ako na lang sana nagbayad ng tuition fee niya.
Boyet: Pero bakit naman tayo, kahit wala tayong pera, lalo na ako nung college tayo, hindi ko naman naisip magpakamatay?
Me: Hindi mo kasi maiintindihan e. Hindi mo alam kung paano ang takbo ng utak ng mga matatalino…
Boyet: … … …
Me: Hindi mo alam ang takbo ng utak ng mga over achievers. Kapag pakiramdam nila na failure sila, iba sila sa mga average people. Hindi mo talaga maiintindihan…
Boyet: Ang sakit mo namang magsalita!
Me: Hindi mo KAMI maiintindihan. Ganyan kaming matatalino!
Boyet: Sapukin kaya kita?!
Me: HAHAHAHAHA!!!


PERSONALAN – PART 2

I bought Boyet a Lacoste perfume last Saturday. He was so surprised when I handed it to him.

Boyet: Bakit mo ako binili? Wala namang okasyon e.
Je: Wala lang gusto ko lang.
Boyet: Magkano ‘to?
Je: Secret.
Boyet: Ang dami mo ngang gustong bilihin, hindi mo mabili e.
Je: Ok lang ‘yun. Wala ka na ring nabibili para sa sarili mo e.
Boyet: Thanks, Baby! Pero sana inuna mo na lang munang bilhin ‘yung mga gusto mo.
Me: Mas kailangan mo ‘yan e. Bad breath ka e, baka di kayanin ng Listerine kaya ok na may support.
Boyet: Kahapon ka pa ha!!!

Siyempre hindi bad breath si Boyet no! Araw-araw kong kini-kiss 'yan! Matagal ko na siyang na-train na mag toothbrush! Hihihi! Joke! :p


PERSONALAN – PART 3

Joie is selling Lacoste shirts from US. I brought home some so my parents can fit them.

Mama: Sakto na ‘to sa’kin.
Papa: Malaki sa’kin ‘yung 3. Size 2 lang siguro ako. Baka nga ‘yung size 1 kasya sa akin e.
Me: Kung size 1 ka Pa, ano si Boyet? Size 0.5???
Boyet: Grrrrrr!!!

I told Joie that my dad is a size 2.

Me: Size 2 lang si Papa.
Joie: 2??? So si Boyet 0.50 lang?
Me: Tignan mo, pareho kami ng naisip ni Joie!
Boyet: Pag-untugin ko kayong dalawa e!


SPERM ANALYSIS

Kolokoy Household will not be complete without my mom’s “contribution” hahaha!!! I told her and my dad that my OB-GYN ordered for a sperm analysis for Boyet just to make sure that he’s fit to have a baby.

Mama: Bakit?
Je: Para lang daw sure.
Mama: Sabagay, si Papa mo rin dati nagpa sperm analysis din e. ‘Di ba ‘no, Pa?
Papa: Oo.
Mama: Ano ngang ginawa sa’yo? Kinunan ka ng dugo?
Me: So noong 1980’s sa dugo nanggagaling ang sperm???
Papa: Ewan ko diyan sa nanay mong topak.
Mama: Ayiiii! Oo nga ‘no?!


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2 comments

  1. Je thanks for always making our Mondays complete... We're guilty of being demanding readers... Salamat at lagi mo kaming pinagbibigyan... hehehe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hiyang-hiya naman kasi ako sa demands ninyo ni Joie! :p

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