Why I'm Fine That My Blog Failed

I’ve always loved writing. Growing up, I was so fascinated with how words turn into stories and how these stories can affect people’s emotions. Being an introvert, I grew up finding peace locked inside my room writing poems and short stories. I knew that I wanted to be a writer. Unfortunately at that time, I didn’t get the push that I probably needed to pursue my dream. I was young, and I listened to people who would always tell me that there is no money in writing or that I should pursue a career that focuses on either Science or Mathematics because that’s where I’m really good at. I finished Computer Engineering, and with the bizarre twist of fate, I ended up writing codes.

When I entered the corporate world in 2006,  a colleague told me that he read all my blog entries in Friendster. He asked me to try putting up my own site. By 2008, I started Je’s Anatomy.



It initially started as food blog. If you look at my old posts, you’ll see blurred photos and read my very stiff way of writing. My style has changed over the years as I’ve also started writing about travel, product finds, and bits and pieces of my family life.


I started blogging with the intention to share stories. It became my outlet where I could relieve all my stress from the corporate world. I was just happy that I finally found my own tiny space to write. Things changed after a few years of blogging. I started complaining about the quality of my photos. I got stressed fixing the layout of my site. I was so disappointed that my blog was not getting enough traffic. I got insecure when I saw other bloggers getting invited to events. I said YES to a few invites, but I would turn down most of them. It was either because the venue was too far or it had a conflict with an important meeting at work. It was then that I realized that although writing is the most important part of blogging, there are a lot of other factors that a blogger needs to work on before making it “big” in the blogosphere.

Now, the landscape has extremely changed. A lot of bloggers started to transition to other social media platforms. The term influencers became even bigger as more people get known in YouTube, Instagram, Twitter and most recently, TikTok. I started a YouTube channel a couple of years ago to chronicle my daughter’s adventures, but I still go back to blogging once in a while.

I’m humbly admitting that I never really made it big both in blogging and vlogging. It used to bother me a lot because of all the hard work that I put into both. I would be a hypocrite if I say that I don’t want to earn from it. But looking back, I realized that not making it big in the blogging world is a blessing in disguise. I remember all the events I attended which made me really exhausted mainly because I am not a people person. I went into blogging because I wanted to express my ideas without being “seen” by other people. I didn’t know that PR is a big factor in a blog’s success. Honestly, whether in events or even in the office, human interactions really make me exhausted. I’ve also seen blogger friends get stressed out in chasing brands who take a lifetime to pay. I’ve also heard of horror stories of bloggers spending more to attend to an event only to get a pen or an umbrella as compensation. I guess my blog’s “failure” saved me from a lot of heartaches. Plus, I got to focus more on my career which I learned to love and has never failed to put food on our table.

I’m happy to be getting a few blogging opportunities while I still enjoy the liberty of writing whatever I want. I get validation not from the amount of traffic of my site but from my few yet loyal readers who have remained with me even if I go in and out of hiatus. I’m glad that I was able to inspire other women who have been going through infertility and mental health struggles. These used to be taboo topics, but I’m glad that my stories put a “face” on these issues. Up to this day, I still get random messages from people who say that reading my blog gave them hope after realizing that they are not alone in their battles. I get validation as an influencer not from the amount of money I generate from this blog (because it is definitely not a lot) but from readers who reach out to me to say that I’ve influenced them, whether to visit a restaurant or hotel I tried, to cook the latest recipe I posted on my vlog, or simply to try a new product I posted in my Instagram stories. I don’t get paid to post these things, but I’m really happy that my very few readers and subscribers appreciate my authenticity. My blog may have failed in stats, but I believe I have succeeded in touching other people’s lives - which is the sole purpose of why I started blogging. :)


2 comments :

  1. Blogging used to be just an outlet, a diary even. The fun with blogging long ago was that you can be anonymous and pour your heart out. I had fun with mine back in early 2000s. It was like a release. I even had a Livejournal. These days it's all about making money and influencing. It has a bit of superficiality in it na. Why I'm happy reading blog posts that are still about life is because of its authenticity, the realness of it all. So keep at it if it gives you joy.
    -raina

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    1. I know a lot of bloggers who depend on their blog's income. They are not bad people ha. I personally met some of them, and they are really nice. But you're right that some "influencers" are ONLY after fame, money and social status. I used to get stressed out when I see my stats not doing well compared with others. It took me a while to realize (and I'm glad I finally did) that I started blogging because I simply wanted to write. And so I continue writing, because yeah, it still gives me joy. :)

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