Conversation Starters for Couples

For many people that are getting into a new relationship, then it can be such a fun and magical time. You might have the kind of relationship that is worthy of a romantic comedy, or it could be a friendship that became something more. Whatever it looks like, getting to know someone is something that is a really beautiful thing. But as the relationship develops, and even when you have been together for a number of years, there will be some topics of conversation that you need to address and talk about. You might not want to know the answer so you never bring it up, or you might worry that certain things could cause arguments. You might have broached a subject in a certain way and then swept over it. But we can all find ourselves ignoring certain subjects that could be deal-breakers. And that can be hard, the further into a relationship that you are.

Whether something is a deal-breaker or not a deal-breaker, there are some very important conversations that you need to be having as a couple. It is good to talk, and good to get into the habit of dealing with things and knowing how you can all react in some situations. You never know what the future might hold, and things like infertility could come up. So knowing what conversations to have, and when to have them, is really important.

So with all of that in mind, here are some conversation topics that you should talk about with your other half, within the first year of a relationship, and beyond.


When two people who come together who have been raised in different ways, then family can mean different things to different people. Family might play a huge role in your life but not in your partners. You might find it hard to balance family life with a relationship, as different people will have different priorities. You could have family baggage that you bring to a relationship that could be hard to talk about. But regardless, talking about family and roles within a family as a couple, is something that is really important. Plus, it can be a good idea to hear their thoughts on things like future family. You don’t want your partner to have headed off to a vasectomy clinic without talking to you about it. So start as you mean to go on and then you can go from there.


Money is something that can cause a lot of friction in a relationship, especially if you are people that both deal with and spend money differently. For some people, money can be something that is all about success and personal worth, so if you have debt, that can be hard to talk about. So it is really important to understand how you both manage money and what you think about shared expenses. If you both earn quite different incomes, then that can be another tricky conversation; how will you divide things up? You should also talk about financial goals in the future as well, to see where you both want to be with things, and if those things are similar or not.


It may seem like something that is a little silly to do, because if you are in a relationship, there will be a certain level of commitment there. But if you fast forward a little time, you could both have different expectations. If one of you is expecting a ring and a proposal after a couple of years of dating and the other things that is way too fast, then you need to know where you both stand on things. Commitment to one of you could be about changing your status on social media. Commitment to another of you could be moving in together and then leaving it as that. If you differ then that is fine, you can work through things and reach that great word in any relationship: compromise. But understanding where you both are with things and the expectations that you have is really important.

Personal Goals

You might be the kind of person that just goes with the flow and is quite chilled out about life and just sees how things happen. But if you are both out of sync with each other, then that can be when things need to be discussed and talked about. Share the things that are important to you personally, and then listen to what they have to say about things. Even if you have some general goals that are different, it is a good idea to make sure that end goals are similar. If one of you wants a family and the other doesn’t, or one of you wants marriage and the other doesn’t, it can be hard down the line to change things. Understanding what is important to your partner, and vice versa, will go a long way to help things.


It can be tough for many couples that don’t discuss their ideas of balance and talking about ‘roles’ in a relationship. When this happens it can lead to conversations about not feeling supported and feeling like you are the one doing a lot of things by yourself. But bringing things up as they happen, can reduce the bitterness about not feeling supported and deal with things as they happen; you’ll be sharing your expectations. One of the things to talk about it how you imagine an equal partnership can look like, whatever that means to the two of you. Talk about the things that are on your mind and what you expect from each other, and yourselves.

Being in a relationship is something that is wonderful and beautiful, but if left and not nurtured, can become difficult and even a little complicated. But when you are able to have the difficult conversations, then it can strengthen you both as a couple and could be just what you need to help to keep you on track.

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