Kolokoy Household: Episode 55

You may have probably noticed by now that most of my husband’s punch lines root from his ability to play with words. Sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes it’s so corny, I’m gonna die. These are the times that I regret promising to laugh at all his jokes, no matter how deadly corny they are! So this Kolokoy Household post is dedicated to Mr. Kolokoy’s corny jokes. And let’s all take a moment of silence to pray for the death of my sense of humor! Haha! :p


CATCHING FIRE

I am such a big fan of The Hunger Games series. So even if I didn’t ask for it, my husband already planned a weekend for us to watch Mockingjay Part 1.

Boyet: Bukas, nood tayo ng Mockingjay ha.
Me: Ok sige. Kaso feeling ko boring ‘yun e. Sa book kasi, ayun ang pinaka ayaw ko.
Boyet: Oo nga e. Ginawa pa nilang two parts.
Me: Dapat ‘yung Catching Fire ang ginawa nilang two parts. Kasi ayun ang maraming nangyari.
Boyet: Ay, ginawan ng Scary Movie ‘yang Catching Fire ha.
Me: Hay naku! ‘Yung sobrang corny? ‘Yung Starving Games?
Boyet: Hindi. Hindi ‘yun. Ang ganda nga e. Tapos ang galing kasi ang mga gumanap ‘yung mga artista sa Planet of the Apes.
Me: Ah talaga? Hindi ko yata napanood yan.
Boyet: Oo meron. Ang title nga MATSING FIRE!

Wala. Napakamot na lang ako ng ulo.


SHEARS

I noticed that my bangs need trimming. Because I don’t want to go the parlor just to have it trimmed, I decided to just cut it myself. My younger brother owns a pair of shears. I asked him where he kept it because I could not find it.

Me: Pahiram akong shears.
Abes: Aanhin mo?
Me: Gugupitin ko lang bangs ko.
Abes: Sige lang.
Me: E nasaan ba? Wala sa kwarto mo e.
Abes: Ayun o! Sa ibabaw.
Boyet: Tinatago mo e. Ayaw mo lang ipahiram sa iba! Alam ko namang shears mo yan. Pero dapat SHEARS kayo ng Ate mo!

Promise, walang tumawa! :p


FREON

While we were on our way to work...

Me: Bakit ang init, e umuulan naman sa labas?
Boyet: Lakasan mo na lang aircon.
Me: E naka number 2 na nga e. Parang ang hina.
Boyet: Sige, papadagdagan ko na lang ng Freon ‘yan para lumamig uli.
Me: Ok, sige.
Boyet: Tutal wala namang bayad ‘yun e.
Me: Ah talaga? Akala ko nagbabayad tayo dati.
Boyet: Wala. FRE-ON e!
Me: Hayyyyyyyyyy!!!

O ‘di ba? Ang sakit sa ulo?! Sige, maiba naman tayo. But please don’t go beyond this point if you’re eating, okay? :p


INHALE... EXHALE...

After dinner last night, I told my husband that I was feeling dizzy.

Me: Grabe, nahihilo ako. 
Boyet: Ako din e. 
Me: Ang dami kasi nating nakain.
Boyet: Inhale, exhale ka.
Me: Huh? Bakit?
Boyet: Basta. Inhale, exhale ka lang.
Me: *inhale...*
Boyet: *Prrrrrrrrrrttttttttttt…*
Me: Kadiri ka!!!

Ngayon ko lang nalaman na gamot pala sa hilo ang utot!!!


KWENTONG #2

I recently had an episode of hyperacidity attack. I had to skip work for a couple of days because I also started to have dry and itchy throat. The day I went back to work, my husband also started to have upset stomach. Ang takaw takaw naman kasi namin! :p

Boyet: Grabe kaninang umaga sa office, ang sakit ng tiyan ko!
Me: E ang tagal tagal mo na sa CR sa bahay ha?
Boyet: Oo nga e. Pagdating na pagdating ko sa office, sumakit uli tiyan ko. E maraming tao dun sa C.R. sa floor namin. Kaya bumaba pa ako sa ibang floor kasi walang tao sa C.R. dun. Tapos kinakabahan ako sa elevator, kasi baka biglang may sumakay. Nakakahiya. Kaya todo pigil ako.
Me: Hahahahahahaha!
Boyet: Tapos pagdating ko dun sa C.R. sa baba, wala pang 5 seconds! Tapos umalis ako agad bago pa dumating ‘yung mga tao.
Me: Hahahaha!
Boyet: Ayun ang tinatawag na SHIT AND RUN!
Me: Kadiri ka! Hahahahaha!


Enjoy the rest of the week! And oh, Happy First Day of December! =)


P.S. In case you missed it, I'm hosting a giveaway! Get a chance to win PHP1000-worth of GC from Stella and Rocket Room. Click here to join! =)