Ask the Kolokoys: Turn off

Published on October 21, 2013

After the first post for Ask the Kolokoys, I wasn’t expecting someone would send us a question. But, somebody did!

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Tanong:
Sa 6 na taon ninyong naging magbf-gf, anong mga nakakaturn-off na ginawa ni Je/Boyet or ugali ni je/boyet na parang napaisip ka tlga kung matatanggap mo ba tlga yun habang buhay pero tinanggap mo pa din kasi talagang mahal na mahal mo sya kahit na ganun sya. pwedeng nakakahiyang ugali, or mabahong utot, mga ganung tipo. and explain! hahaha. Sana sagutin nyo hahaha. so expected ko nakakatawa ito. hahaha kaso baka corny sa inyo. hahaha


JERELLT SAYS:

When we were still dating, I thought he was perfect. Yes, there were times when he would irritate me, but those things were manageable. Pero iba pala talaga kapag kasal na kayo! Lumalabas ang mga hindi nailabas nung getting-to-know-each-other pa lang kayo.

I had second thoughts in answering this. Because in this day and age, married couples seem to be in a never-ending contest. It’s as if there is a race for the Best in Marriage Award. Wives post how sweet their husbands are by Instagram-ming the gifts they have been showered. Husbands brag how beautiful their wives are. Of course there are a very few who opt to wash their dirty laundry in public, badmouthing their spouses and posting their domestic disputes online. But in general, couples only let the public know the good things about their spouses. So you’re probably asking why I a decided to answer this question. It’s because a lot of people think that our marriage is perfect. A friend once told me that our relationship is ideal. I am happy that people sort of look up to us and our marriage. But I don’t want them to think that it’s perfect because it is definitely far from being perfect. So please don’t get me wrong as I answer Abby’s question. It doesn't mean that I am badmouthing my husband. I am just saying that he is imperfect. And so am I.

Ok, here we go! This is going to be so much fun!!! =))


1. Mister Ututero!

Tutal naman nabanggit mo na ang utot, e ayan na unahin natin! My husband farts a lot! He farts everywhere! Walang pinipiling oras at lugar. At lalong walang pinipiling scent at volume! It’s not that I am maarte or maselan. I know that farting is normal. Umuutot din naman ako. Lahat tayo umuutot! But my husband can get really naughty. He will find a way so that I will be in the best spot when he fires away. He will say things like, “Uy pakinggan mo tiyan ko. Kumukulo yata.” I will put my ear to his tummy. Tapos uutot! One time, he made lambing and asked me to scratch his thigh. Ayun, utot uli! Pero eto ang madalas niyang gawin. At madalas pa rin akong magoyong!

Boyet: Bilisan mo lumakad! Dali!!!
Je: Bakit? (with matching panic) Anong meron?
Boyet: Umutot kasi ako dun. Baka habulin tayo!

Got the picture? Teka, nasa #1 pa lang tayo! =)) 


2. Tricycle King

Why? Kasi kung humilik, parang tricycle! I found it cute when I first learned that he snores. But it’s a different story when we got married. In the beginning, there were nights when I would cry because I could not sleep. I always make it a point to wake him up or put him on his side when he starts snoring. He would be quiet for a few minutes, and then BOOM! Balik-pasada na naman si Kuya!


3. Joker Forever

I love my husband’s sense of humor. It’s one of the reasons our marriage is blissful. And it’s probably why people think that our marriage is just 100% happiness. But there are times when I feel that his sense of humor is a curse. When we need to seriously talk about something, he would just crack a joke. When he does something that pissed me off, he would just crack a joke. Minsan kailangan ko pang sabihin na, “Hoy! Galit ako!!!” bago siya magseryoso.


4. Burara daw ako?!

My husband always says I’m burara. I am definitely not! Actually, medyo OC nga ako e. If I left something in a specific place, I am expecting it to be on that same place when I look for it. If it’s not there, nagwawala ako! Kaso lang, medyo ulyanin din ako. It’s not that I misplace things. I just forget where I put them. Ganun ako madalas. E si Boyet, ang pasaway! Burara daw ako. Ok lang naman e. Kaso lang, ang lakas ng loob magsabi ng burara e mas burara siya sa’kin! Gusto niyo ng examples?

Me: Nasaan na ‘yung nail cutter natin?
Boyet: Aba malay ko.
Me: Dito ko lang iniwan ‘yun sa vanity box ko ha?!
Boyet: O e di nandiyan lang.
Me: Hahanapin ko ba kung nandito? Ikaw kaya ang huling gumamit.
Boyet: Ayan ang burara mo kasi.
Me: Hoy Boyet! Dinala ko ng US ‘yang nail cutter ko na ‘yan. Nakabalik pa siya ng ligtas sa Pilipinas.
Boyet: Wala nga sa’kin. Hindi ako huling gumamit.
Me: Panong hindi ikaw? E upod na upod kuko mo sa paa at kamay? Ano ‘yan, kinagat mo lahat?

Ayun, hindi na namin nakita ang nail cutter! O eto pang isang example!

Me: Nasaan ‘yung tiyani ko?
Boyet: Binalik ko diyan sa lalagyan mo.
Me: Wala nga dito. In the first place kasi, hindi mo dapat ginagamit ang tiyani ko. Kadiri ka!
Boyet: Nandiyan lang ‘yun. Binalik ko diyan.

Ayun! Nakita ko sa ilalim ng unan!!!


5. Hindi siya sweet in “public”.

Don’t get me wrong. My husband is the sweetest. He makes me smile when I’m in a bad mood. He is proud of my achievements. He supports me every step of the way. He holds my hand when we’re outside. He carries my bag. He helps me with household chores. He always remembers our monthsaries and anniversaries. And the list goes on. ‘Yung sinasabi kong “public” e ‘yung online/virtual life namin. Gaya na lang sa Facebook. Wala siyang kabuhay-buhay!

Scenario: Nag-post ako ng something mushy sa FB dahil anniversary namin.

Boyet: Ang ganda naman ng status mo sa FB.
Me: Wow ha!
Boyet: Na-touch ako.
Me: Nagandahan ka, na-touch ka pa. Pero ni hindi ka man lang nag-LIKE?
Boyet: Hehe. Nakalimutan ko e.
Me: At higit sa lahat! NR ka! Hindi ka nag-comment. At lalong wala kang post sa FB mo.
Boyet: Hindi na ‘yun kailangan.
Me: Hindi ko naman sinasabi sa’yo na maging gaya ka nila (insert friend’s name here) at (insert name of friend's wife here) na araw araw nag-po-post ng ka-cornyhan sa FB e. Pero hindi ba pwedeng magpaka-cheesy ka tutal anniversary naman natin?
Boyet: Hindi na kailangan. Alam naman nilang lahat na faithful, loyal at loving husband ako e.

Ayun! Kafalmuks din ‘to si kuya e! Ok lang din naman. Kasi sila friend at wife, sweet sa FB pero sa personal, waley haha! Sweet sila sa FB pero sa FB din sila nag-aaway. Kay Boyet na ako! :p


So there. I didn’t list everything. Hindi ko na sinama na 1) kinukwento pa niya sa’kin ang itsura ng jebs niya, 2) na dati nung bagong kasal pa lang kami, kailangan ko pa siyang pilitin mag-shower bago matulog sa gabi, 3) na sa lahat ng kuripot, siya ang bulagsak sa pera and so on and so forth. But at the end of the day, these are just very trivial things. Totoo naman kasing faithful, loyal at loving husband siya. Kaya kahit utot siya ng utot, e love ko pa rin ‘yan! :p


BOYET SAYS:

After my first entry, I was not expecting that somebody would actually have courage to ask again. I guess my opinions are now starting to be recognized by my wife’s avid readers (kapal :p).

Je and I have known each other for more than thirteen years now. She was my girlfriend of 6 years. Back then I thought that I already knew everything about her. I was wrong. There are still a lot of things that I was surprised when I learned about. And I know you will be surprised too!

But don’t get too excited. This is her blog so we have no choice but to say something in favor of her. So medyo konti lang ang sasabihin ko para di ako mayari sa kanya. Hehe :p


1. Very organized

Je wants to find everything where she left it. But there’s one problem. Sometimes, she puts it in a place where it should not be. For example, she puts her pony tail in my toy box and gets angry when I remove it. Sasabihin niya organized daw siya pero makakalimutin lang? OK. :p [Jerellt] FYI, Ikaw ang last na gumamit ng nawawalang nail cutter. At imposibleng ako ang maglagay ng tweezers ko sa ilalim ng unan natin!


2. Good sense of time management

We are married for more than 2 years now and every morning we argue because she’s always late! We usually wake up 2 hours before we leave. Yes, 2 hours pero late pa rin! Tsk tsk. But in fairness, almost 1 month na ko halos di nale-late. (Awayin ko ba naman ng todo tingnan ko kung di pa rin magmadali sa umaga. Hehe). [Jerellt] Gusto mo ng magandang asawa 'di ba? Natural lang mag-effort ako sa umaga! :p


3. Retentive

If you’re a fan of Kolokoy Household, you might remember one time when she discussed about a joke about Lenovo mobile phone which has a tag line “Walang iwanan”. Read it here. I cracked that joke since she sometimes forgets her phone. Not just cell phone, she also has a tendency to forget her comb inside our car. As a matter of fact, I've set up an alarm in my phone every 8:30 in the morning just to remind her not to forget her comb AGAIN! Hay siguro kung iisa-isahin ko lahat ng nakalimutan nya, weekend na di pa tapos 'tong binabasa nyo. :p [Jerellt] Ok, wala akong masabi. Ulyanin naman kasi talaga akech! Hihihi! 


4. Diplomatic

Je likes to argue. Ang hirap makipagtalo sa kanya! She won’t give in when she knows that she’s right. This is a good thing, I know. But since she’s the wife and I’m the husband, she should give in (dominante ako e. hehe). In fairness to my wife, she eventually learned how to agree with my decisions. :p [Jerellt] Wagas ka kasi maka-tantrums at isa pa, understanding talaga ako. :p


Would you believe when I tell you that my husband did his part on this post for 3 weeks. Hirap na hirap siya mag-isip kasi siguro ang perfect ko. Chos! =))

And oh, Abby, I know that you were asking about the things that turned us off when we were still bf/gf, kaso wala talaga. Kaya nga kami nagpakasal kasi akala namin perfect ang isa't isa. Nyaha! Anyway, I hope you had fun reading this. :p


CONTEST ALERT:  
Click here to join jE's AnAtOmY's 5th anniversary giveaway!

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6 comments

  1. Sis daya mo, may comment ka sa mga sinabi ni Boyet sayo!! Boyet, ipagtanggol mo sarili mo :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Binabasa naman niya yan sis bago ko i-post. Hirap na nga siya magblog, pipilitin ko pa bang sumagot? Haha! Sabi ko next time sumagot na siya para fair :))

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  2. Ang nawawalang nail cutter...bow!

    http://celerhinaaubrey.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sana may magregalo sa amin ng nail cutter sa Pasko! :))

      Delete
    2. Ayan na regalo ko!!! from thailand!

      Delete