Kolokoy Household: Episode 4

Happy Monday, my dear readers! I hope you all had a nice weekend. The bed weather made me lazier than ever. And my overstaying PMS made it extremely harder for me to get out of bed. So to start the week right, eto! Bubwisitin ko kayo through KOLOKOY HOUSEHOLD! Bwahahahaha! *insert evil grin here*


BEROCCA

We ran out of Berocca so I asked my husband to buy some from the pharmacy.

Boyet: Knock, knock!
Me: Kapag ayan Sri Lanka na naman, malilintikan ka sa akin!
Boyet: Knock, knock!
Me: Who’s there?
Boyet: BEROCCA!
Me: Berocca, who?!
Boyet: May kasabihan po tayo... Mag BEROCCA na sa lasing, ‘wag lang sa bagong gising!
Me: Saksakin mo na lang kaya ako. As in now na!!!


TOM CRUISE

I told my husband about the good online reviews on Jack Reacher. We were discussing whether to watch it over Life of Pi on our monthsary.

Me: Kaso lang kasi hindi ako mahilig kay Tom Cruise e.
Boyet: Hindi ka mahilig kay Tom Cruise?
Me: Hindi.
Boyet: E bakit ako ang pinakasalan mo?
Me: … … …


TVJ

My mom was telling me to watch a TV show. She was on the second floor of the house so she kept on yelling at me.

Mama: Dalian mo, umpisa na!
Me: Sino ba guests?
Mama: Sila TITO, VIC and SOTTO!
Me and Papa: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
* Si Tito Sotto at Vic Sotto kasi ang guests. Waley si Joey de Leon! :p


LIGHTER

Boyet and I went to my brother’s room to check the router because our internet connection was down. I was spying on my brother’s things when I noticed a rectangular block box with the size of a cassette tape.

Me: Ano ‘to lighter?
Boyet: *kinuha ‘yung black thingy*
Me: Lighter ‘yan no?
Boyet: *kinalikot ang black thingy*
Me: Lighter ‘nga yata.
Boyet: *kakapindot, napaso* LIGHTER NGA!!!!!!
Me: Buti nga! Ayaw mo pa kasing maniwala.


DRIVE-THRU

Traffic was horrible last Friday because it rained. What used to be an hour and a half travel time doubled because of this. While on our way, we stopped at a KFC drive-thru to grab some dinner. There were only two cars in front of us, but it took us more than fifteen minutes to have our turn to place our orders.

Boyet: Anak ng tokwa naman o! Kahit sa drive-thru ang traffic?!
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Boyet: Kapag ako naging MMDA chairman, lalagyan ko ng traffic enforcer ang lahat ng drive-thru sa Pilipinas!


DILUTED

My mother and I were talking about the kids of an Actress from two of her previous relationships (with ActorA and ActorB).

Me: Ang gaganda ng mga anak ni Actress kay ActorB ‘no? Maganda din naman kay ActorA kaso parang mas magaganda ‘yung anak niya with ActorB.
Mama: Oo nga e. E samantalang ‘di hamak na mas gwapo si ActorA kesa kay ActorB. Ganoon yata talaga kapag combination ng sobrang gwapo at sobrang ganda e.
Boyet: Kaya ikaw Je, kabahan ka na!
Me: Confident nga ako e! Madi-dilute ng genes mo ‘yung ganda ko!
Boyet: HMP!!!
 

1 comment :

  1. Nalerkey naman ako kay Tito, Vic, and Sotto ni motherness! Baka naman talagang Sotto ang pangalan ni Joey D. sa totoong buhay. Hahaha!

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