A Breeze of Good Deeds #32: Support Your Spouse

One night, as I was intensely hitting the keys of my laptop, I saw from my peripheral vision that my husband was smiling. I returned his smile with hostility, thinking that he meant it as an insult. When I finally asked him what’s funny, he said, “Wala lang. Natutuwa lang ako na ang saya saya mo kapag nagsusulat ka.” It took me a minute to digest his statement, and when I finally realized that he is telling the truth, I smiled back.

He is right. I may not be the best writer. I don’t even think I’m already good at it. But at least, I’m happy when I’m writing. It’s amazing how letters become words, how words turn into thoughts. It always makes me happy to see my “finished product”, in the form of a blog post.

Before getting married, I was anxious that I might not be able to continue writing. I have always wanted to write, but I never had the chance to pursue it. In addition to that, I never had the courage to chase my dreams. But with the help of a very supportive husband, I was able to continue making some “baby steps”. For many times last year, I told my husband of my intentions to stop working. I was never a risk-taker so I was just saying those words out of frustration. But instead of discouraging me, he said that I am free to do whatever I want to do. But of course, he quickly made a follow up of the things that I could no longer do when he’s the only one earning. Less shoes. Less clothes. Less travels. Less dining out. Madali naman akong kausap e. Ang sarap kaya ng may trabaho! Heller! Ang sipag sipag ko! Woooohoooo!!! But seriously, the fact that my husband was willing to make sacrifices for me, and that he was more willing to take a risk for my dreams to come true, made me realize how lucky I am. Let’s also not forget that he managed to keep a sound mind by reminding me of the downsides, although it came in the form of a threat. Hahaha!

I’m glad I didn’t stop at that time. There are still days when I think of quitting. But God never fails to let me know that now is not yet the time. As a matter of fact, He led me to a place where I can fulfill my dreams little by little. I can now write more. As a bonus, I now have more time to read! And of course, my husband supports me all the way. He accompanies me when I want to go to a bookstore. Actually, he drops me off at the bookstore, and then he leaves me alone. And just recently, he REFUSED to let me cover my books. He does it himself. I don’t know why, but he loves doing it. And finally, when I want some time to read, he lets me.

Don’t even think that it is a one-way street. Of course, all these are being reciprocated by yours truly. To show my undying support of my husband’s likes and hobbies, I even included that promise in our personal wedding vows! I know I promised to let him watch the NBA games, but until now, I still can’t understand why he needs to watch the replay of the replay of the replay of all the games. Can you imagine how many episodes of my favorite teleserye I’ve missed because of this? Not to mention that I have to endure the nightly sight of half-naked bloody males as they brutally “kill” each other. I had to ask him, “Baby, is UFC fake like wrestling? Where does the blood come from?” He replied with so much conviction, “Siraulo, totoo yan!” And so I learned the sad truth about UFC! I felt that what I said was worse than committing murder. Don’t judge me, I learned that wrestling is “staged” when I was in college! =))

Most of the time, whether he’s watching a basketball game, UFC or some manly sport which I never even knew existed, he’d start talking about some things which makes me feel alienated. But I listen to him, the same way he listens when I’m ecstatic about a book sale or when a stranger sends me an email after reading my blog. Even if I don’t have the slightest idea what he’s talking about, I still listen. And if he’s patient enough, he answers my questions.

Before getting married, I was so scared that I’d lose my identity. I was so scared that the dreams that I wasn’t able to fulfill before I changed my surname will all be thrown away. But I’m very lucky. I’m still the geeky bookworm who aspires to write more. And my husband remains to be the sports junkie who still believes that we’re probably richer by now if he only made it to the PBA! :p